Happy Family Team 7 Style
by sleepypuppies
Summary: The war is over and Sasuke has returned to Konoha! Everything is back to the way it should be, or at least Naruto thinks so. First story. Chapter 5: A day at the academy. Review, please review! THANKS FOR ALL THE VIEWS! DOUBLE UPDATE TODAY! CH 6 NOW UP AS WELL!
1. Chapter 1: Tents

Ch. 1 Tents

Naruto had just arrived in Konoha yesterday after a long mission away. He was suffering a little from sleep deprivation, but at last he'd been able to have a restful night of sleep in his own bed and planned to sleep in as late as he could. Not that he was very picky about his bed normally, but even he grew tired of having to sleep out in tents, especially when he had to share with the likes of Sai and Sasuke. He was glad to finally have the bastard back where he belonged, but did he really have to keep up that prissy attitude with him?

Sai's comments weren't helping one bit. He didn't understand just why the hell Sai had to bring up the size of Sasuke's penis, but he had, wondering if perhaps that was the reason Naruto had chased him all those years. That one earned him a beating from both Naruto and Sasuke (who for some reason had turned bright red). Fortunately for Sai Kakashi had been able to intervene before they had a dead teammate on their hands.

Naruto had even considered begging Sakura to let him share tents. Actually, he had begged her. After the third sleepless night with the other two he tried to convince her to let him stay with her. After all, she had acted so much nicer to him even before Sasuke's return. It was a slow, gradual type of change, but even he started noticing it. Since Sasuke left, Sakura had come to realize just how much Naruto had done for her, by believing in her and giving her the strength they needed to survive through the hell they went through, and over time she had even developed a little crush on her teammate. It wasn't as loud and demanding as her so-called love for Sasuke had been, but she liked to think that that warm feeling and the funny little flutter when she saw Naruto were more honest than what she'd felt before.

At any rate, Naruto had tried to get her to share tents. He'd even offered to do sexy jutsu and henge into a girl so that Sakura would feel at ease, but for some reason Sakura had been even more upset, blushing madly and sending him flying out of the tent with a chakra powered punch. Meanwhile Sakura tried to convince herself that Naruto meant no offense and that he really was just a hopeless idiot. She may have had a crush him, but honestly, couldn't he at least put some clothes on his henge?! Really, the boy just had no sense of decency.

Sakura had been a little nicer to Sasuke since his return, but even that relationship was a bit strained. Naruto thought it was because she was still offended that he never accepted her advances. Sakura told him that was childish, and of course she was over that. She was a mature woman now, who wouldn't dream of holding grudges against selfish bast-, ehem, old friends simply because he had rejected her, and abandoned her, AND TRIED TO KILL HER AND WHO THE HELL DID THAT CONCEITED BASTARD THINK HE WAS REJECTING THE HARUNO SAKURA, SMARTEST, PRETTIEST, MOST- ahem, well anyway, she had definitely moved on.

There were bigger fish in the sea, and here she looked sideways at Naruto with a small blush as she said this. Neither noticed the glare this earned her from Sasuke. Naruto would've pointed out that he'd be more likely to believe her if she wasn't giving the Uchiha a chilling death glare at every little offense, but the kunai still gripped in her hand from preparing dinner had told him perhaps that wasn't the best idea. The woman was scary, but what else could you expect from Tsunade's apprentice.

Kakashi was out of the question. He had at first thought about asking him to share tents, but was quickly dissuaded when Kakashi informed him that he was a man, and as a man, he had certain needs, physical needs, that he needed to relief at night, but so long as Naruto didn't mind, he wouldn't either. Yeah, like Naruto really needed that image in his head. While Kakashi wasn't outwardly hostile towards Sasuke, he, too, seemed to enjoy taking advantage of his fall from grace by making him do pretty much all the work he was too lazy to bother with. In reality, Kakashi, like Naruto, was truly happy to have his old student back with them. However, Kakashi was Kakashi, and if he saw the opportunity to avoid doing any more work than necessary, well, what else was he to do? It mainly consisted of making Sasuke do a bunch of annoying tasks like gathering wood, finding water, taking the tiring middle watch, and writing out the dreaded mission reports, all on the pretext that since Sasuke had shirked his team responsibilities for so many years, it was only fair he make it up to them now. Naruto thought it was pushing it a bit to make Sasuke read Icha Icha out loud because sensei "needed a bedtime story", but then the embarassed blush and ticking eye as he forced the words out were so funny that he figured it was worth it, at least until Sasuke got angry and nearly chidoried Kakashi's precious book. Needless to say, that was the last time Sasuke was allowed anywhere near Kakashi's treasure. Occassionally even Sasuke would grow tired of doing those tasks, but then Kakashi would remind him, ever so subtly of his little time away. A guilty look would flash briefly across his face, before it was quickly replaced by his stoic mask and he went on to fulfill whatever crazy task Kakashi had set out for him this time.

Naruto, for his part, was the one most at ease with Sasuke since his return to Konoha. When he had fought against the tailed beasts, Sasuke had on many time risked his own life to protect those of his former comarades. When weeks later Sasuke had walked through the gates, he was received by heated glares and angry shouts from the villagers. Luckily, Naruto had been nearby helping to rebuild when he heard about the sudden commotion and rushed to the scene. When he arrived he saw Sasuke, still wearing his famous mask of indifference, but even from a distance he noted the tense shoulders and certain look in his eye, almost as if he were a rabbit that were about to bolt. But like hell he would! Not after all the years he spend trying to get him to come home. In the blink of an eye, Naruto had his arms around Sasuke's neck and was holding him tight, not giving him a chance to even think of leaving. He could hear the gasps of the crowd and not even the Anbu surrounding them dared to try to pull them apart. After a teary and heartfelt "Welcome home, teme" and the answering "Dobe" he had proceeded to drag Sasuke to the Hokage tower to tell Baa-chan and demand that he be reinstated into the village immediately (in reality it was more like begging and the careful employment of the saddest puppy dog eyes ever). Eventually the villagers reluctantly began to accept the traitor was back and he was here to stay, and if their Naruto had accepted him, well then there really wasn't so much left for them to say, at least not when faced with those eyes. Honestly, Naruto couldn't ever remember having to use the puppy dog eyes as much as he did during that period, but it was for Sasuke, and hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

After serving short sentence in Konoha's prison and going through his probation period, Sasuke had once again joined his old team, with the added addition of Sai. He still liked sparring with Naruto to test his abilities, they still had their little pointless fights, just like the old days. If anything, Naruto felt their bond had grown stronger and deeper than before, and therefore was probably the only person in the village who could still work perfectly in sync with Sasuke, and vice versa. He hadn't ever really found out the real reason Sasuke returned, but in the end what mattered was that he did. So what if the teme still acted as if he was all that and a bag of chips? So what if he had to deal with sleepless nights because Sasuke and Sai kept him up with their arguing? The Teme was back. Besides, he could always catch a good night's sleep when he had break from missions.

"Oi! Dobe! Get your lazy ass up now. We're out of food and need to go shopping. You'd better be ready in five minutes or I swear I'll chidori your ass out of there!"

Oh, that's right. One of the conditions for Sasuke's probation had been that he move in with someone to always watch over him in case he went vendetta crazy again and wanted to destroy the village. Just a precaution of course. Oh, well. At least he could probably guilt Sasuke into carrying the heavier groceries.


	2. Chapter 2: The Fanclub

Ch 2 The Fanclub

Naruto had woken up to an exceptionally good morning. He decided that it would be a good idea to just take a long walk around the village and simply enjoy himself. The weather was nice, he was back home, and even the villagers seemed caught up in the cheerful atmosphere of the day. On his way to Ichiraku's for breakfast they smiled and called out happy greetings to Naruto. After the war, the villagers' attitudes completely changed about Naruto, whom they now considered a great hero, earning the respect of the village. Unbeknownst to Naruto, his exploits had also earned him the hearts and affections of many of the single ladies of Konoha.

In fact, Naruto's popularity with the ladies had grown so much that he had even had his own fan club, started soon after the war and spreading like wildfire in no time. It was rumored to be even bigger than Sasuke's had been at its height back in the day. They followed him almost everywhere and delighted in giving him small offerings of chocolates, freshly baked cookies, and of course, ramen.

Naruto was both grateful and proud of his village for showing such displays of friendship and unity (though why on earth did they have little hearts in their eyes? that was just weird) completely misunderstanding their intentions, making his friends roll their eyes and call him an idiot. Well, not all of his friends. Sasuke, for some reason, always arrived to take him away from his fans, glaring and demanding that Naruto train with him right that instant. This created a new rivalry for Naruto's attentions. The fan girls had started to realize that they would have to get past Sasuke if they wanted to get to Naruto. It got to the point where Naruto couldn't show so much as his nose outside his apartment without being mauled by crazy fans and then being dragged off somewhere by a seemingly angry Uchiha.

Kakashi's reaction to the whole thing had been one of amusement. It was hilarious how even with all the crazy antics he was still clueless about his own popularity. He was proud, in an almost fatherly sort of way, as he saw Naruto become such a heartthrob. Each day he looked more and more like his father. It was nostalgic, but it also made Kakashi happy and he wondered how long it would take before the blond figured it out. Knowing him, if he hadn't figured it out by now he probably never would on his own.

Then there was Sakura, who surprisingly enough had yet to figure out about the existence of said fans. Ever since Sasuke's betrayal, she had sworn off the hectic and obsessive fan girl lifestyle. When rumors had started circulating about the existence of a new fan club in Konoha she wanted not part in it. As Shikamaru would say, it was too troublesome. Although she had begun to wonder why it was that Naruto had started avoiding crowds, since he had always been such a loudmouth attention seeker. It was a nice change though, so that was fine by her.

Eventually, it was Shikamaru who had resigned himself and finally explained to the naive blond that no, it was not just a gesture to promote friendliness, and only Naruto would ever be oblivious enough to think otherwise. It was becoming too troublesome so he'd better deal with it before someone was chidoried to death by a jealous Uchiha. Once again, Naruto misunderstood and thought Sasuke was jealous for his fans. That teme must've been jealous he was no longer Konoha's most eligible bachelor.

For the sake of his friend, Naruto decided that maybe he would try to get them to stop. Besides, he agreed there were times even he couldn't handle so much attention. Naruto kindly informed his fans that although he wholeheartedly appreciated the gesture, he simply couldn't handle so much attention from his loving fans. Naruto had not grown up with any romantic attention (here he blushed earning many 'kyaa's from the group) and therefore asked his fans if they could please ease up with all thoughtful gestures.

This had unwittingly created an even bigger attraction to himself, earning a reputation of being a "gentle lover" with a "fragile heart". Shikamaru just sighed and just walked away with a "troublesome", while Sasuke gagged in the background and demanded that Naruto stop beating around the bush and outright refuse them. Naruto tried, but for some reason, they thought he was just being shy, which was partly true, but still. Sasuke had just glared and dragged him off to train some more. After that, the fans still continued their pursuit of the blond, but in a much more subtle manner, hoping to tenderly earn their way into his heart. They had to be careful, his delicate heart had already gone through so much, and to put up with the traitor Uchiha! Naruto was practically a saint with a heart of gold!

As he continued on his way to Ichiraku's, many more of his fan girls continued to call out greetings to him. One of the more determined ones even approached him with a voucher for Ichiraku Ramen.

"Huh? But this is good for two people."  
"Oh, really Naruto-kun? I hadn't noticed." She had. "I didn't mean to get that one." She did mean to. "But maybe we could go together? Just as friends I mean." She definitely didn't mean just as friends.

"That sounds great, dattebayo! We can even go right now. It'll be like a breakfast date!"

A date! She had a date with him! She wasn't really sure what a breakfast date entailed, never having heard of one before, but it was a date!. And Naruto-kun had been the one to say so. This just couldn't possibly get any better. It had seemed like a long shot, but here she was, on a date with Naruto-kun! She almost felt like cackling with glee.

Alas, poor, naive Naruto was so mesmerized with the thought of free ramen that he failed to see the triumphant smirk and the burning fire in her eyes that spoke of a devious plan and determination. However, triumph was about to fail and the fire was about to be put out of her eyes as she felt such a strong killer intent aimed at her that she literally froze up. She could feel the air around her drop suddenly in temperature and she wondered who on earth could possibly be so upset to nearly shoke her with killer intent. She managed to move her eyes just to the left and looking over Naruto's shoulder she saw the source of her doom. A pair of furious green eyes was viciously glaring right back at her and she understood immediately. Sakura. The Sakura. Amongst fan girls of Konoha she and Ino were legends and their tactics were admired even years after the two had retired from the ranks of fangirls. In fact, many of the tactics she had used to try to conquer Naruto's heart had come straight out of her book. The innocent appearance that hid her true raging emotional fan girl self; the polite mannerisms; the small gifts, and so much more. And now, that same girl, now woman, who had inspired so many of her plans stood before her, and if looks were anything to go by, it seemed like she was just on the verge of unleashing inner Sakura. And there was absolutely no way anyone could survive that. She'd heard the rumors. She was sooo dead.

"What did you just say, Naruto?"

"Oh, hi Sakura-chan! I just said that we're going to Ichiraku's for a breakfast date, dattebayo."

" A WHAT?!"

"He-, he-, he d-didn't m-m-m-mean it like that Sakura-san!" She was shaking with fear and couldn't stop stuttering.

"What's wrong Sakura? Is this because I'm having Ichiraku's for breakfast? I'll eat healthy later. I promise!"

"YOU BAKA!" And here Sakura punched him to make her point. "I should have known! Of course I should have known! All the signs were there. The gifts, the letters you wouldn't let me see, the aversion to crowds, and...that one time! I knew that red stain on your collar looked familiar. It was lipstick wasn't it? YOU BAKA!" Punch. "HOW COULD YOU LET THEM MAUL YOU?!" Punch. "DID YOU ENJOY IT? HENTAI!" Punch. Punch. Punch.

"S-S-Sakura-san! S-s-s-s-stop that! I, uh, I mean please s-s-stop hurting N-n-naruto-kun."

"NARUTO-KUN?! Where do you get off, you, you , you, ARGH!"

"AHHH!"

About that time, a certain dark haired teme happened to be walking by and saw the spectacle. He was actually headed to Ichiraku's in search of the dobe, but instead found him getting beating up by their female teammate right in the middle of the street. Unamused, he was about to step in and intervene when Sakura's attentions suddenly shifted to some trembling girl who apparently had said something Sakura didn't like one bit. He looked closer and recognized her as one of Naruto's more annoying fan girls. He couldn't count the number of times he'd had to scare her away with sharingan or chidori, and yet the girl just kept coming back, like a cockroach or something. He was sure Naruto would not appreciate the comparison, but what else could he call her? From what he saw and what he'd managed to hear, he deduced that Sakura had at last found out about the fan club. About damn time, too. He didn't particularly like Sakura, but he knew she was intelligent. Or at least she was supposed to be. Did she honestly not see the signs? Perhaps she was just too much in denial, but that was her problem. What mattered to him was that she was so busy terrorizing the other girl that she had completely forgotten about the idiot lying on the floor still slightly dazed from the beating he took. Great. He just hoped Naruto didn't suffer any major brain damage, he was slow enough as it was. Proding him with his foot Sasuke tried to get him to come back to conciousness.

"Oi. Dobe. Get up."

"Uh, wha-, what? No please Sakura no more!"

"Baka, do I look like Sakura to you?"

"Teme! I'm not a baka!"

"Sure looked like one getting beat up by a girl." Never mind that the girl could probably beat up darn near anyone in the village, but there was no way Sasuke would ever admit to that.

"What are you doing here anyway? Weren't you supposed to be with Baa-chan?"

"That was early, dobe. I told you." Then he noticed a small piece of paper on the floor by Naruto's hand. Picking it up he noticed it was a voucher for two at Ichiraku's. Well, he was hungry. That was probably where the baka was headed anyway. Pocketing the paper he crouched down to pick up the dobe.

"Hey! Let me down! Where are you taking me anyway?"

"Dobe. Stop struggling. We're going to Ichiraku's."

"Really?! Hey, you actually want to go?"

"Isn't that voucher for two?"

"Oh yeah. Cool. I guess I'll just have to have a breakfast date with you instead."

"D-date?!" He spluttered and nearly dropped Naruto. Well, this was unexpected. A bright blush adorned his cheeks, but then a small smile formed on his lips. He didn't even have to try and he'd already gotten a date. The smile turned into a smirk as he thought about the two girls he'd left behind. Holding Naruto closer in his arms, he left them behind to continue on his date.


	3. Chapter 3: First

Ch. 3: First

Team 7 and Team 8 had practiced together all morning and were now taking a break for lunch. Since neither team had any missions lately Kakashi and Kurenai had decided it would be a good opportunity to have a training day together to work on teamwork with other shinobi of Konoha besides the same teammates they always worked with. They had worked hard all morning and the tired shinobi had settled down beneath the shade of the trees for their well deserved break. Well, almost everyone. Naruto and Kiba were too stubborn to admit defeat even though it was clearly obvious that they were both exhausted. So the two knuckleheads continued while the others relaxed and watched from the sidelines.

Sasuke was enjoying the view, watching as Naruto moved across the field, kicking and jumping, dodging or aiming a punch. The way the two ninja moved around the field was almost like a dance, albeit a very violent and rigorous dance, but mesmerizing nonetheless. As the sun beat down on the two and sweat trickled down their faces, Sasuke found himself thinking that the whole thing would look so much better if Naruto would just take his shirt off. honestly, Naruto could be so selfish. Teasing him like this and then refusing to show a little skin. The nerve of him.

"He should really just take his shirt off." Wait, had he actually said that out loud? No, there was no way. Keeping as calm a face as he could, he casually glanced sideways and noticed that Sakura was glaring in his direction. Had she heard? No, she was looking beyond him. Discreetly turning in the other direction, he realized it was actually Hinata who had said those words. She was sitting, her eyes focused on Naruto's every move, with a bright blush adorning her face. Sasuke was unnerved that her thoughts mirrored his own. He always knew there was more hidden underneath her innocent-shy-girl façade and this just proved she was a grade-A pervert. How dare she think of his Naruto in such a way. Only Sasuke was allowed to have dirty thoughts involving Naruto. And no, he was not being hypocritical, it was simply fact.

"Hinata, how can you say that!" This time it was Sakura expressing her outrage.

"Well it's not like you were thinking any different," Hinata answered back defiantly. She really had gained a lot of confidence. No more stuttering or fainting for her. Which only made her an even more dangerous rival.

"That's not true! Hinata you pervert! How can you think like that about Naruto? You've changed."

"Changed? My feelings for Naruto-kun have never changed. Unlike a certain someone who just happened to change her opinions about Naruto-kun from one moment to the next."

"Certain some- JUST WHAT ARE YOU IMPLyING HYUUGA?!"

"I'm not implying anything. I'm simply saying that my feelings for Naruto-kun have always been true. I was in love with Naruto-kun first!"

"How dare you?! Just because I didn't spend half my life stalking him mean I like him any less."

"Oh, that's right, you just spend half of your life stalking the Uchiha." The way she said her name with such loathing only caused Sasuke's glare to intensify. What the hell was her problem? He wasn't the one she was arguing with. Besides, he'd never really done anything to her. Except for maybe glaring at her all the time. And insulting her clan. And sending a couple of threats warning her to stay far , faaaar away from his property. Okay, and maybe he had sort of tried to chidori her a little, kind of, when they had been paired up for sparring earlier that day. But, come on, you'd think she would've let it go by now. Besides, she had nearly broken his back and permanently damaged his chakra paths with her mystical palm technique, and you didn't see him saying her name like it was some sort of disgusting maggot. Well, he didn't actually say her name at all, but that wasn't the point. He was almost insulted enough to actually say something before Sakura stepped up to defend herself.

"T-that was a long time ago! Practically an eternity. He's nothing!" So, I'm nothing, huh? Did they seriously not care that he was sitting right next to them!

"If you think about it, it really wasn't so long ago. Who's to say you don't still have feelings for him. After all he was your first love."

"That's not true! Besides, I've already said it like a million times but I have no feelings for that ungrateful jacka- I mean Sasuke." Ouch.

"I'm right here!"

"Well you could've fooled me. If it wasn't for you Naruto-kun wouldn't have ever suffered going after that traitor."

"HEY! I'M STILL HERE!"

"SHUT UP YOU JERK!" Both girls shouted out as one.

"Besides, I don't care what you think as long as Naruto knows how I feel."

"Yes,and remind me again, what did Naruto-kun say to your so-called confession?"

And here they came to a sore point for Sakura. She couldn't very well answer that because the fact was Naruto still didn't belief her confession. as hard as she had tried to convince him otherwise, for some reason he believed that she was still harboring secret feelings for Sasuke. As if! It was times like these that she truly regretted from the depths of her soul her foolish actions as a lovestruck fan girl, since the way she acted during those years made it impossible to deny that she had, at one point, felt something akin to love for the emo bastard. However, even when she pointed out how he had betrayed her feelings, and turned her down repeatedly, and oh yeah, HOW HE TRIED TO KILL HER, all he said was that she was just in denial, then she could have sworn she heard him whisper something about hurt pride and diva tantrums, which for the sake of their future relationship, she chose to ignore.

"Oh yeah, well how about you, huh? You may have confessed first, but so what? Naruto didn't even bother to respond to your confession!"

"Actually, yes he did. Sort of." Here Sakura and Sasuke perked up. Well, this was news! They looked at each other and then back at Hinata, who looked a bit depressed and looked out longingly as Naruto continued fighting oblivious to their conversation. From the girls' demeanor, the response had not been good. Finally, Sakura spoke up.

"So, did he... did he turn you down?"

"No. Well, he never really had a chance to say yes or no."

"But you just said-"

"I know. What I meant, was that he didn't really have a chance to say yes or no to me."

"Well then... to whom?"

"My dad."

"WHAT?! YOUR DAD CONFESSED TO NARUTO?!" Wow. Really. Sasuke just rolled his eyes at her. For someone supposedly so smart, Sakura really had a lot of brain fart moments.

"She means her dad intervened, right Hinata?" Here she nodded sadly. "When you are part of a large shinobi clan marriages are usually arranged. A lot of thought and calculation goes into planning the perfect match that is most likely to produce strong ties to powerful allies. Even if Naruto had somehow said yes (as if he would), there was still no way for the two to be together. Hinata is clan heir. The clan leader would never allow it." And yes, he did wear a victorious smirk on his face as he said this. Hinata glared at him and retaliated right back.

"You say that as if I'm the only one tied by clan rules. As the sole survivor and head of the Uchiha clan, you also are bound to find an appropriate match. A female who will help you restore that clan. That is, if you can find one." Oh, she was good. She just had to bring up his clan. Stupid Hyuugas. Always thinking their clan was sooo superior.

"At least I don't have to go asking daddy for permission."

"Oh, that's right. The only ones you have to listen to are the Konoha parole officers, Lady Tsunade, and the shinobi council. You don't honestly think they'll just let the sharingan die out, do you? Good luck convincing them otherwise Uchiha. Besides, he doesn't even know about your feelings.

"Well all I need to do is to confess to him and he'll be mine since he already loves me anyway (he just doesn't know yet)!"

"Well, since the both of you are out of the competition anyway, I just have to find a way to make Naruto see that my confession was real and he'll fall for me in no time!"

"No! I still confessed to him first, and I'll convince my father in no time!"

"No way!" "Yes way!" "You're both delusional!" "You have absolutely no chance!" "I confessed first!" "Well I was his first friend!" "Well I was his first crush!" And so it went, the three of them arguing over who had priority over Naruto's love and who was his real first until a 'poof' behind them alerted them that Kakashi had arrived. He had been amused by their silly argument, and had just thought of a way to have a little more fun.

"Actually you're all wrong."

"WHAT?!" Three glares were directed his way.

"If I remember correctly, I was the first one that said I really liked him." Oh, how he loved to mess with their minds!

"...what?"

"And come on, don't you remember that special move I pulled on him during our first fight together? I'm pretty sure I was the first to eve touch him there."

"..."

"Ah, the memories. So...dibs!" And with that, Kakashi poofed away leaving behind three utterly incredulous shinobi trying to ward away the horrible, horrible images Kakashi had conjured up.


	4. Update coming up soon

**Author's note**: Sorry for the long absence. Depression can be bitch. So I thought I'd take a little time to let you guys know I'll be writing more often now, I already have a ton of ideas. Also, on a personal note, these past weeks have reminded me how important it is to just let go of all the negative and allow people to help rather than pushing them away. I'm not trying to preach anything here or gain sympathy. I'm just saying, there's probably a lot of you out there who also have a lot of problems and it gets hard to deal with it on your own. So just, let people in once in a while. It can be hard, but it's worth it to say it out loud. So, that's it for now, and I really hope this helps at least someone. Anyway...

**COMING SOON: NARUTO AND ART... ****_(will be put up after class, so just a few hours)_**


	5. Chapter 4: Art

Ch. 4: Art

Naruto acknowledged that art could be dangerous.

He had gained enough experience to appreciate that it could be more than just a means of expression for the brooding, eccentric, so-called misunderstood souls that inhabited the art world. Now that he thought about it, he was surprised the teme hadn't decided on a career as an artist; he'd be perfect. Normally Naruto wasn't one for stereotypes, but the artists he had met so far had not only convinced him they were all a little weird, it had convinced him most were downright lunatics who tended to lean more towards frightening madness than cute quirkiness.

There was the arsonist, Deidara. Then there was Sasori, with his macabre, though highly effective, puppets. Konan's art was beautiful, but as he'd personally seen it was also deadly and not to be taken lightly. Then, of course, his own teammate Sai, whose drawing technique he had come to both admire and appreciate. And while Sai wasn't exactly what you'd call a raving mad lunatic, he figured surely he was weird enough to count as a proper artist. It was with this in mind that Naruto headed to Sai's apartment.

_Knock. Knock._

"Oh. Hello Naruto, Have we been assigned a new mission?"

"Huh? No, no. I'm here for art lessons, dattebayo!"

"Art lessons-?"

"Yeah! You can teach me how to do all those awesome attacks..."

"A-a-attacks!?"

"...and I'll know even more cool ways to blow things up..."

"Blow up!?"

"...and all the girls will love it! Because...you know...girls _love_ that whole art thing. I'll be such a classy guy and become irresistible, dattebayo!"

"Uh...Naruto...I don't think you underst-"

"and I'm going to be Hokage so it'll be good to know about these things."

"But..."

"No buts Sai! I'm feeling passionate, dattebayo! Let's make some art!"

And so, without further discussion, Naruto conscripted Sai into being his art teacher and let himself into Sai's apartment. The poor man never knew what hit him.

Sai would later claim that the calamity that ensued was in no way his responsibility. He had _tried_ to make Naruto see otherwise. He had _done his best_ to convince Naruto that this was a very bad idea, and would most likely end in disaster (it did). However, Naruto _was _his teammate, and if things went his way his future boss. He might as well incult some refinement into the future head of Konoha. _Right._

Sai thought it would be a good idea to start with drawing. It was, after all, his specialty. However, he failed to remember that Naruto's drawing skills tended to be a little _lacking_.

"Naruto, that looks ugly."

"Hey! You're supposed to be supportive!"

"Friends don't lie to each other, Naruto. That looks hideous."

"He is not!"

"Naruto, that _thing_ you drew doesn't even look recognizable, let alone as a 'he'. What's it supposed to be anyway? Is it some type of deformed cockatoo?"

"...teme..."

"Huh?"

"...teme..."

"What? Stop mumbling."

"I said it's Sasuke-teme! You said to draw something meaningful so I drew the Teme!" Naruto was blushing madly by now.

...

...

"Hm. Well I gues there is _some _resemblance. If nothing else you got the hair down right. I'm surprised you didn't draw him in the nude. Perhaps we should ask him to pose for us sometime and-"

"NO! What is wrong with you!?"

"You're the one that drew him. Talk about repressed sexual urge-"

"HENTAI! I DON'T HAVE ANY SEXUAL URGES FOR THAT TEME!"

"It's okay, Naruto." Here Sai wrapped an arm around Naruto's shoulder. "I understand completely and I accept you just as you are."

"What the hell are you-! I don't-! I mean-! No...just...you know what...just...forget it. Let's just move on."

Naruto, being the hands on type of person he was, wanted to try his hand at sculpting. Sai pointed out he did not keep any clay around the house, but _luckily _Naruto had thought ahead and now a small pile of clay was divided between the two of them.

"Alright. I suppose that does _kind of _look like a bird...with tentacles of some sort..."

"They're feet you jerk! Now..._how would I blow this up?_" Of course that's what he'd do. Sigh.

_"Naruto. _You're not supposed to _**blow up**_ the art."

"But that's what Deidara did. And mine has to be _way_ cooler than that. Hey I know! I'll just use rasengan on it and it'll be even better!"

"NO! WAIT NARUTO DON'T DO-"

"RASENGAN!"

**BOOM! CRASH! BOOM!**

...

...

...

"You forgot we were indoors, didn't you"

..._sweat drop_...

"You do realize you owe me a new kitchen?"

"...uh huh..."

"And a new ceiling?"

"He he. Yeah. Sorry about that."

Sai was just about ready to give up on his so-called student, but damn it he did not just lose half his apartment for nothing. Besides, his reputation was on the line now, and no student of his would walk away without knowing _something_ about art. At Sai's insistence they moved on to origami. While it wasn't his forte, it was an art form that required few materials and, best of all, there was little chance of his apartment being blown up by paper...well...at least not without knowing the proper jutsu, and he **prayed **that Naruto did not know said jutsu.

About half an hour later, Sai found himself with a bouquet of a dozen origami flowers while Naruto found himself with a bunch of crumbled paper.

"Oh that's it. I give up. I'm just no good with art." His eyes were narrowed down glaring at the offending papers and his lips pouted in disdain, but the little blush on his cheeks told Sai he actually did care a little bit.

"You know, maybe you're just a bit more..._creative_...in other fields. I noticed that you can be quite original when you're doing that sexy jutsu of yours, or just pulling a prank in general."

"You really think that's creative?"

"Uh, sure why not. Let's call it that."

"Yes! You're right Sai! I should pull more pranks!"

"Wait, that's not what I-"

"It was so obvious! Thanks Sai! I'm gonna go _make art_. Ha. Ha-ha. Ha ha ha!"

A shiver ran down Sai's spine as he heard that psychotic laughter. Only one lone, forboding thought ran through his mind. _Art could definitely be dangerous...__**especially**__ when it involved a certain blond haired loony ninja._

~Epilogue~

Sasuke was on his way to Naruto's apartment. He had just gotten back from yet another routine community service D-rank mission that had kept him away from his Dobe all day. Stupid probation. As he walked he came across said Dobe running straight his way.

"Dobe, watch where you're-"

"Hurry! Hide!" and he pulled Sasuke into an alley just in time to avoid a group of angry looking ANBU who for some reason had rainbows, flowers and _mustaches_ painted on their masks. They radiated killer intent and seemed to be looking for Naruto.

"Phew that was close. I thought they'd appreciate my art a bit more. Sai did say it was creative."

"Sai did?"

"Yeah. Oh, you weren't around, so I guess you don't know, but Sai was giving me some special lessons today."

"_Special lessons?_" What had that pervert been doing with Sasuke's Dobe?

"Uh-huh. I was really filled with passion, dattebayo!" Passion? NARUTO WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO FEEL PASSION FOR HIM!

"I tried to include you in the lesson, but you know Sai didn't really like it and he called you ugly." UGLY! SASUKE WAS A REGAL! HE WAS A NOBLE EXAMPLE OF CLASSIC BEAUTY (not that he's egotistical or anything) BUT HE WAS IN NO WAY *_shudder_* _UGLY_! Although he had to admit, he was touched Naruto would think to include him in his love fantasies.

"So then we moved on and we ended up blowing the roof off." How wild had they gotten?

"So then Sai said I was too explosive and he couldn't handle it so we moved on to something more gentle. He even made flowers, see?" And sure enough, Naruto showed him a bouquet of paper flowers. Sasuke was practically burning them with his killer Uchiha glare.

"The poor guy looked pretty tired by the end, so I went out to spread a little creativity around the village. Hey teme, why are you growling?" Little did Naruto realize how his innocent words had twisted into lewd and horrible images in Sasuke's head and he was just about ready to **kill** a certain pale-faced-pervert-hentai-love interest-stealing-hack artist. How dare he take what was Sasuke's?

"Well," sigh, "what's done is done. It's my fault, really, for not keeping you near me, I just never imagined Sai would sink so low to lure you into his depraved world. Don't worry, dobe. I forgive you for your infidelity."

"My what? Wait, what did _I_ do wrong stupid teme?"

"But for the record, you would never be too explosive for me..."

"Uh?"

_"...and I am more than capable of handling your passion all night long."_


	6. Chapter 5: Legendary

Ch. 5: Legendary

It was another normal day in Konoha. The sky was clear, the birds were chirping, and a group of young kids was learning the deadly techniques of the shinobi. Perfectly normal.

"Alright, class. Pay attention. We are going to be reviewing the transformation jutsu today..."

_"Aww!" *grumble* "Come on Iruka-sensei, can we not do that?" *grumble* "This is so annoying!" *grumble*_

"QUIET!"

_"Oooh. Sensei is scary!"_

"This is an important technique and, when done properly, can have extraordinary effects on..."

"That's right! And no one does a better transformation than me, dattebayo!"

Naruto showed up, and suddenly things weren't so normal. Things were always *_exciting*_ with Konoha's number one surprising ninja around.

"Wow!_ It's Naruto!" "It is Naruto!" "That's so cool!" "He's the greatest hero ever!"_

_Great. Mini-fan girls._

"N-naruto? What are you doing-?"

"I came here to see you sensei. I really missed you so I decided to drop by."

"You...missed me?" Inner Iruka was crying tears of joy right now.

"Well of course I did. Besides, I wanted to see the next generation of Konoha shinobi that will one day uphold the Will of Fire." Iruka really did tear up a bit then. Naruto sure had grown into a fine young man. He coudln't be prouder of the boy, now man, that he viewed as his own brother.

_"Woah." "Naruto came to see __**us**__!" "We're so lucky!" "He's the strongest shinobi to ever live." "He's a living legend."_

"Now, on to the demonstration! I'll show these brats my own special version of this most powerful technique!"

"_Special _demonstration? N-no. No. Naruto don't you dare-"

"TRANSFORMATION TECHNIQUE SEXY JUTSU!" *poof*

_..._

_* wink wink*_

_..._

_"AHHH!" "Holy Kami!' "Wow." "MY EYES! MY EYES!" "The stories are true!" "Kya! She- uh he's so hot! "Did Iruka-sensei get a nosebleed?" "N-n-naruto-san!" "Huh. They really bounce a lot." "Genius! PURE GENIUS!" "It's the legendary sexy technique!"_

"NARUTO! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! DISPEL THAT JUTSU THIS INSTANT!"

_*gasp* "Sensei used a bad word!" "He's still got a nosebleed!"_

"But, but-"

"NO BUTS! YOU ARE POLLUTING THE MINDS OF THESE CHILDREN!"

"But even that kid said it. It's legendary!"

"ITS A STUPID PRANK! YOU ARE A SHINOBI OF KONOHAGAKURE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A ROLE MODEL FOR THESE KIDS, NOT A STUPID PRANKSTER!"

"Aww. Come on Iruka-sensei. It's not so bad."

"Not so bad!? I can't believe you managed it, but somehow you made it even worse than before!"

"It's not worse! It's the new and improved sexy technique! It packs an even bigger punch!" And just to prove his point he winked sexily at his old sensei, once again starting the nosebleed that Iruka had just managed to stop.

"DISPEL THIS STUPID HENGE THIS ISNTANT!"

*sigh* "Fine." *poof*

"Now then..." Iruka discreetly wiped the remains of his nosebleed. " I think it's time we got back to our _real _lesson and Naruto should probably be on his way-"

_"What!?" "No, please don't go!" "Naruto-san stay!"_

"Aww. Come on sensei. Can't I just stay for a little while longer? I'll be good, dattebayo."

He just had to use that sad little face looking like a kicked puppy, and there was no way anyone could say no to that. In fact, Iruka held the belief that it wasn't a speech, but _this face_ which had convinced Pain to stop his invasion and bring back the dead. It was the only logical explanation.

"Besides, sensei, you're supposed to be the nice one in my family."

"F-family..."

_"Aww." "That's so kawaii!" "Naruto we love you!"_

"It's bad enough having to deal with the teme's diva tantrums and Sakura-chan's scary beatings. At least I have you to be nice to me."

_"Naruto." _He pulled the brat into a tight hug, surprising Naruto and the whole class. Naruto may still be a brat, but he was, as Naruto said, family, so it was all just fine.

_"I-I-Iruka-sensei? You're kind of freaking me out now."_

"Shut up idiot."


	7. Chapter 6: Intel

Chapter dedicated to whovian212 and paracuties, who reviewed my last chapter and made me happy. 3

Ch. 6: Intel

There was a plot underfoot. Sasuke was sure of it. Those Hyugas were up to something and Sasuke was about to find out what. Now normally, Sasuke didn't give two cents what that pesky clan was up to with their plans, but this time it was different. This time it involved Naruto.

Sasuke noticed that lately Hinata wasn't the only Hyuga to participate in the pastime of stalking Naruto. It was hard to miss. They followed him to the training grounds, when he shopped for his groceries, to the mission's desk, during his meals. He was actually disappointed that even in his obliviousness Naruto wasn't noticing this extra attention. It's not like they really went to any trouble to really hide themselves. Once, a small group of about four Hyugas actually showed up at Ichiraku's and sat at a table across from them simply staring at Naruto, and even then he didn't notice! However, the weirdest event was just about to happen.

It was night time back at Naruto's apartment. Sasuke had gotten up to get a drink of water, and maybe sneak at his roommate. Very carefully he sneaked his head inside the room and nearly had a heart attack. Right outside the dobe's window, apparently suspended only by chakra, was a man staring right at _his _Naruto. He rushed into the room but the sudden movement alerted the intruder who quickly fled the scene, although not before Sasuke caught a glimpse of milky white eyes.

Sasuke growled menacingly, instinctively releasing killer intent at the Hyuga creep. Just what the hell was going on!? What could the possibly mean by following Naruto around and stepping into what was clearly Sasuke's territory? Just then, Naruto began to stir and awoke to find Sasuke in his room. What was the teme doing in his room? For a few moments they both simply stared at each other, Naruto not quite awake enough to understand the situation and Sasuke trying desperately to reign in his emotions. After a few more awkward moments of silence and staring Sasuke finally spoke up.

"Dobe." Those sleepy eyes were killing him.

"Teme?"

"Hn." Naruto was only wearing boxers and a thin shirt.

"You're in my room."

"Hn." His little sleeping hat was lopsided and Sasuke itched to reach out and adjust it, maybe run his fingers through silky hair.

"And you're staring at me." Oh, great. Now Sasuke came off as some perverted peeping tom, when he was clearly only trying to defend Naruto from the true stalker.

"Hn."

Naruto, just barely awake, only wished he could get this weird encounter over with and go back to sleep. With any luck he'd have completely forgotten about the encounter by morning and could continue life as usual. Would he ever have a good night's sleep again?

"So..."

"..."

"_Teme!_ Just say what you want or go away. I want to-"

"Sleep."

"Huh? Uh...yeah. I want to go to sleep...so-"

"No. I mean, I was going to sleep."

"In my room?"

"Yes."

Quickly, Sasuke's mind was coming up with a perfect plan. He knew the Hyuga would probably be back as soon as he thought it was safe again and Sasuke thought of the perfect way to make sure they knew Naruto was his.

"Yes, dobe. I'm sleeping in here."

"Huh? You're...? Wait, what?"

"My sheets are dirty, so I need to sleep here for the night." Well that wasn't a total lie. He had woken up from a rather steamy dream involving Naruto and, well, things happened. "Move over. I'm getting cold."

"You're sleeping here? Like _here here_?"

Sasuke was already lifting the sheets and shoving Naruto a bit to get him to scoot over. What. The. Heck? Sasuke was trying to get in his bed like a little kid? Maybe the teme had a nightmare and wet his bed? Was Sasuke scared of the dark?

Naruto was still not entirely sure if he was awake or not, but he knew how stubborn the teme was, even dream teme, so he just moved over and let the crazy Sasuke illusion get in the bed with him. Something about the whole thing seemed off to him, but he was too tired to really give a damn. He was already falling asleep and wondered if he just dreamed the feeling of moist breath behind his head and a cold body pressed up against his.

Later that night two pairs of Hyuga eyes widened at the disturbing scene they saw before them. Deciding they had seen enough, they fled the scene and rushed back to the Hyuga compound to report their findings.

"What do you mean he was in bed with Naruto!?"

"My lady ..."

"Hinata-sama, we both saw it with our own eyes."

"The Uchiha was in bed with Uzumaki Naruto and he was, well, uh..."

"They were spooning, my lady."

"Spooning!?"

"I'm afraid so. Uzumaki did not seem to be forced into the act in any way, so we can only assume it was consensual. Even the..."

"The what? Tell me."

"Well, Uchiha seemed to be, ugh, how to put this delicately..."

"He was dry humping Naruto in his sleep."

"HE DID WHAT!? That traitorous pig! I will break his bones for sullying Naruto's innocence. I think I'm gonna be sick."

"You and me both, my lady."

"And you're sure it was consensual?"

"Well, technically they were asleep, so I'm not sure Uzumaki realized he was being, uh, well, you know-"

"Dry humped."

"Will you stop saying that!? How can you use such language in front of lady Hinata?"

"Very well, men. It seems our time for intel gathering is up. It is now time to move into action. Sasuke is moving faster than I thought he would. Damn that stupid probation decree. He gets to be _supervised_ by Naruto while the rest of us have to work to spend any time with him. Round up all the intel we have gathered and prepare for our next move. Sasuke has no idea who he's up against."

Across town, Sasuke suddenly awoke to a feeling of dread that send a shiver down his spine. The Hyugas were definitely plotting, and when the Hyugas plot, you'd better watch out.

N. Hey guys! Thanks for the 1,000+ views. I was so happy that I decided to post this chapter that I hadn't planned to post for a few days. Anyways, thanks for reading! I hope you continue to enjoy.

Next chapter: What were the Hyugas up to?


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